we didn't do it alone: the story of our fertility specialist

We are officially 18 weeks today, which means baby girl is the size of a sweet potato, but I wouldn't have this sweet potato to be thankful for if it weren't for the help of our incredible fertility specialist.

We were first introduced to P.A.R.I.N.T.S. by my OBGYN. Once we had tried several rounds of Clomid with him and failed to conceive a healthy pregnancy for over a year, he decided it was time for us to see a specialist. 

We love, love, LOVE our OBGYN, so we trusted his opinion on who to go to from day one. He cried with us through our miscarriages and took the time and patience to hear our fears and concerns as we struggled to carry a pregnancy to term, so we knew he would put us into good hands.

*This is a hard photo for me to share.* I remember telling myself to take this photo to document how I was feeling that morning. This was the morning of Graham's ear tube surgery back in January, sitting in the hospital room waiting to hear how his surgery went. A really scary morning for us. It was also in the middle of Chris and I doing the Whole30 diet for fertility benefits, which was really taxing and stressful for us. And, it was just a month into working with our fertility specialist and 16 months into our TTC journey, so we were feeling pretty hopeless, exhausted, and worn down.

We first met with Becky at P.A.R.I.N.T.S. just before Christmas '17. She was warm, inviting, personable, motherly, all of the things you'd hope for in someone you're investing your entire hopes and dreams into. 

Upon sitting down at her dining table (that's right--not a sterile, doctor's office, but an actual dining table, which sits beside a cozy living room), I noticed she brought a box of Kleenex to the table.

​She knew.

She knew how hard the struggle to get pregnant is for the couples she sees in her office, knew the pain and disappointment we feel with every negative pregnancy test, and knew that our first meeting would involve me providing our history, which is obviously emotional. 

I went shopping after one of my several blood draws during this process and snapped this photo inside a dressing room, which had post-it notes with positive, self-love messages all over the mirror. It was a nice reminder to cut myself some slack during this process.

SIDE NOTE: If you're struggling to conceive in this season of your life, you know how it feels, and you also know that it's really hard to explain to your loved ones how you're feeling and what you're going through on a day-to-day basis.

Not knowing whether or not you'll be able to conceive disrupts any idea or dream you had of what your family would look like. I 100% support surrogates, donor egg/sperm, and adoption, but to get to that point, you have to first get past the emotions that come with realizing you won't be able to carry your own child. 

You have to work through and accept that as your reality before you can even consider any of those as next steps. And accepting such a hard truth is more difficult than anyone who hasn't gone through this can realize. 

These were the injections I was giving myself to encourage ovulation. Sometimes it was difficult for the needle to breakthrough the skin, which often times led to bruising (like you see here). One of the hardships of infertility is the financial hit you take. The tiny vile inside that pen held enough doses for about 5 days, and that single vile cost $300.

Becky immediately came up with a plan for us, and more than anything from that meeting, I remember her looking us in the eyes and saying, "We're going to do everything in our power to figure out what's going on, and we're going to do our best to get you pregnant." 

Just hearing that someone else was making it their #1 priority to get to the bottom of our issues and get us to where we were sooo hoping we could be was huge. It felt like I had an army on our side. 

Becky's team were in constant communication with us.

Send them an email? They respond within 24 hours--always.
Get blood work drawn? They'll have the results to you first thing the next morning. 
Having a mental breakdown? Call them and they'll not only answer, but talk you off your ledge. 

I never once felt like 'just another patient' among a laundry list of people. They always made me feel like I was their most important patient. 

Saturday, the morning before Mother's Day (ironic, no?). My boobs were sore and had been for about a week. I was feeling off. My period still hadn't come (which wasn't out of the ordinary), but still. I took a test. It was POSITIVE. I couldn't believe it! I ran so fast into Graham's room where Chris was but couldn't spit any words out, so I just handed the test to Chris while I balled.

Something else to note about P.A.R.I.N.T.S. and what makes them different: it's a nurse-run practice. Becky, the owner, spent her career in labor and delivery, but felt that patients didn't get enough personalized care, which inspired her to start P.A.R.I.N.T.S. 

Nurses are unsung heroes. They spend the quality time with patients, take the time to listen, and don't rush you out the door like some physicians often do. 

When my doctor told me it's a nurse-run practice, I immediately knew I'd love it. I knew these women would take the time to hear me, that they'd understand what I was feeling, and that is huge when it comes to infertility. Being understood. Being listened to during this process.

It's huge. 

I simply can't say enough wonderful things about Becky and her team. 

Thanks to Becky, her team, and the good Lord, we're expecting our second child.

To give you a better idea of how much I appreciate and love Becky and her team, the second after I showed Chris the pregnant test, the first person I wanted to call was Becky--and I did!

She was ecstatic and immediately jumped into action: "Go to the lab and get your blood drawn...continue taking this med, start taking this one, etc.". She continued to do everything in her power to make sure we carried this pregnancy to term. 

If you're struggling with getting pregnant, I encourage you to give Becky a call. She's like a second mother to us now, and we know she'll always be a part of our lives. 

Becky and her team understand your struggles, know how you feel, and want to do everything in their power to fulfill the dreams you have for your family. 

Don't push it off. Don't hesitate. Don't be afraid to ask for help. God placed the desire of children in your heart for a reason. He wants to fulfill that desire for you. Sometimes we just need a little help getting there. 

Chris didn't know that I got the phone call that day with the news of the gender. I suggested we go out to dinner to our favorite spot, Bella Vino, that evening. I texted the manager, Anthony, and told him I wanted to surprise Chris with the news. We ordered dessert and voila! Chris found out he's going to be a dad to a little girl!

To visit Becky's website, click here: P.A.R.I.N.T.S. 

For testimonials about Becky and her amazing staff, click here: Testimonials

If you're currently going through the pain of a miscarriage, I wrote a blog post about our experience here: After A Miscarriage

And finally, I hope something in this post was helpful to you and gave you encouragement to never give up hope. 

XOXO, Courtney