I work from home, which I am insanely thankful for. Thankful x 10 million. No exaggeration. It allows our family to save money on daycare, and gives me more time with G. However, that also means that (on some days) I have to get my work done while chasing after an 18-month old, which is not easy. I find myself feeling compelled to work at every minute of the day--even if it's 12:07am and I'm dozing off in a small pool of drool on my laptop--because my workplace is my home. I don't go to an office everyday. I don't have that separation between work and home, therefore, my entire house has become "my work". This is where the work-life balance struggle comes into play. After recently listening to an episode of the financial podcast I subscribe to, I jotted down some notes as special guest Samantha Ettus discussed what she discovered about work-life balance, and it made everything click for me. Here were my 3 take aways... 1. Wherever you are, be present. I recently wrote about how one of my goals for 2017 is to be present when spending time with Graham. Samantha Ettus takes this one step further. She says wherever you are--whether work or home--be present. If you're at work, be totally focused on work, and when you get home to your family, be totally focused on your family. The reason this takeaway is so great is because it removes the guilt. If you're giving 100% to your work while you're at work, you'll have zero guilt shutting down your computer and email when you get home. In the same way, if you're giving your full attention to your spouse or kids when you're at home, you'll have zero guilt leaving them when it's time to jet off to work. One hour of focused time with your kiddo is better than a full day of distracted time with them. Stay focused and be present. 2. Drop the quest for perfection. You know that woman you're comparing yourself to on Instagram who has the perfect abs, beautiful clothes, and exciting career? Well guess what. She doesn't exist. Hallelujah!! No ones life is as you think it is. Focus on your own life and the beauty that's within it. It is impossible to spend all your time in all the places, so stop the fight, and realize that you'll have days where your work gets a little more of your time, and other days where your children dominate your day. 3. You can drop the ball and still be good. Samantha Ettus said something that stood out to me: You're going to miss things. You're going to forget about your kid's recital, or forget that today was "wear tie die to school" day. You're going to drop the ball. However, don't quit because you do. Many women think that if they eliminate one of the "pieces of their pie", (like their job, for example), that then they'll have the time to be perfect in their mom role. It isn't true. You're still going to drop the ball at mommyhood from time to time, so don't sacrifice your career (and the fulfillment that your career gives you) because you mess up every once in a while. You're going to mess up either way, so embrace it and move on. Every day is going to have ups and downs. I'm going to have days where I've finally cleaned out my inbox and have nothing left on my work to-do list, and I'm going to have days where I can't remember if I showered and I'm eating goldfish crackers for lunch because that's all that's left in our pantry (sorry, Graham).
As long as I'm present in the moment, steering clear of comparison, and granting myself a little grace when I mess up, then that's all I really need to feel balanced.
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I'm sick of making New Years goals that I never keep or reach. It's dumb. I know I'm not the only one who is guilty of this. I decided this year I'm going to switch it up and make 3 goals that are generic enough to not be intimidating, and reasonable enough that I actually have a chance at reaching them. Genius! So, here are my goals of 2017... 1. Get behind the lens more. I love photography. I've grown to love it even more now that I have someone willing to teach me (my hubby)! It's been such a joy to watch Chris grow as a photographer year after year, and spending time together learning his craft sounds like a win-win to me. 2. Focus on being present. Nothing is worse than when you're in the room where your child is playing, you look up from your phone, then realize they've been looking at you--waiting for you to engage. No more of that. From now on when I'm getting down on the floor to play with Graham, the phone is going up on a shelf, in a drawer, under my Christmas tree (yes, it's still up)--wherever! I want Graham to grow up and remember that mommy was always present. As Chris worded so perfectly: "Instead of telling him not to play with the rocks, you get down there and play with him." 3. Be healthier. I don't consider myself the most unhealthy person in the world, but I could definitely clean up my eating habits a bit more (no more Trader Joe's cookie butter!), and find some motivation to get to the gym more than once a year (until someone figures out the secret to getting a summer body in one day). What I'm not going to do is say, "I'm going to lose 20 pounds and be in the best shape of my life!" In other words, the resolution I've made (and failed to meet) the last 4 or 5 years. Oops. If I can simply work on eating healthier and exercising on a semi-regular basis so that I feel good and strong, then I'm happy with that. Something else I'd like to do in 2017 is clean out my closet and only hang on to pieces I really love and wear all the time. This Michael Kors leather jacket was a little bit of a splurge, but I wear it all the time and it's a classic staple. (Nordstrom no longer carries the one I'm wearing, but this one is really similar.) I was in need of a good pair of brown leather booties that I could wear everyday, but I also wanted them to be comfortable. So, I ordered these cognac leather Born boots and they are my new favorite shoe. I wear them constantly. I love big, chunky sweaters in the winter. I've been trying to quit my habit of buying cheaply made sweaters every winter, because they never last and I usually don't like the way they wear. This gray sweater from Ellie & June has an oversized, thick neck (which keeps you super warm) and has zippers at the elbows for a little edge (and it's on sale right now!).
I hope you made some goals for yourself that are achievable and pressure-free, too. If so, let me know what they are in the comments below! Happy new year, everyone! |