4 things i've learned in 2 years of marriage

Today marks 2 years of marriage for Chris and I, and honestly, it has flown by. How has it been 2 years already?!? As I look back on these speedy two years, there are many things I've learned, but 4 in particular that I thought I would share. 

1. Kids challenge your marriage. This is very, very true. I'm talking serious talk now. Just when you think you've figured out everything there is to figure out about your spouse, God throws a kid into the mix and says, "Good luck!" Many of our days have included one or both of us saying: "Oh, you're really not a morning person, I see" or "I haven't showered in 3 days and can't even stand to smell myself, but you still love me, right?" and last but not least "Will you take the screaming baby for a while? I'm about to lose my damn mind."

These are just a few of the things that came out of our mouths since Graham was born. Having a kiddo will push you both to your breaking point (especially a newborn that won't stop screaming), and having a spouse that still loves you at 3am when you're exhausted, cranky, and have 3 inch bags under your eyes is major. I truly believe that if you can survive those first 6 months with a newborn, that you can survive anything. 

2. Make time to recharge together. We all say it: "We're so busy." And, no doubt, it's true for all of us, but it's soooo important to make time to not only recharge, but to recharge together. Life gets in the way: we're trying to meet a deadline at work, we haven't seen our friends in ages, there's dinner to cook and grocery shopping to be done, you're running out the door for your little one's gym class, etc. It's easy to let life take over. It's easy to forget to stop and look at each other to say, "How are you doing? Truly, how are you really doing?"

Chris and I make it a point to recharge together every night even if it's as simple as having a glass of wine together in the kitchen as we prep dinner, but going one step further, we try our best to get out for a date night once every other month or so to truly reconnect with no distractions. And ya know what? Every time we do, we end the night saying, "I really needed that. Thank you, and I love you." It may sound simple, but it's so vital for us. 

3. Be supportive, but be honest. It's so important to support your spouse. That's part of the very foundation of a marriage, but it's also important to help your spouse make smart decisions (and to keep them from making bad ones). There have been times when one or both of us have struggled with a decision, whether personal or professional, and relied on the other to help us tip the scale.

Now that we're in our thirties and supporting a family together, we have an obligation to think twice as hard on decisions that will affect us all. I've learned that it's best to encourage each other's passions, while always looking out for the greater good of your family. It's all about balance. 

4. Never stop fighting. I know, this sounds weird. What I mean is this: never stop fighting for each other. Never stop fighting for the strength of your bond, never stop fighting for alone time with the other, and never stop fighting for the courage to be open, honest, and vulnerable at all times. If you always fight, you'll grow stronger together--I promise :) 

I have a million and one more things to learn about marriage, but thankfully I have the rest of a lifetime to learn and a smoking hot classmate ;) Happy anniversary, love. 

Photos by Catherine Rhodes Photography