It's a boy! We found out on Monday that we are adding some testosterone to our family (it's only fair...Chris already has to deal with me and our two female dogs). Honestly, I was a little surprised when the nurse said, "You're having a little boy!" After I finished ugly crying, I thought, "Seriously? I come from all girls, and my sister just had a girl. I figured we were all destined to only produce girls!" I know that's silly to think, but your mind does weird things when you're pregnant. Once I started processing the fact that this little wiggle worm I am carrying is a boy, I began wondering things like, "How do you raise a boy? I've never grown up with boys. How do you play with and entertain little boys? I don't know any of the rules of football. I just watch it for the nachos and buffalo chicken dip. How do I change a boy's diaper without getting peed on? Do I hold it down?" Ironically, I have a few girlfriends who are all pregnant with boys as we speak--one due in April, one in May, one in June, and ours in July. I also have a handful of girlfriends who have sons ranging in age from a few months old to 7 or 8 years. I wondered if any of them had any concerns like myself when they found out they were expecting a boy. I also wondered what advice they had, and what moments they really treasure with their little gentlemen. So, I reached out to them and asked for their thoughts and opinions. I must say, it's really nice to know that I'm not the only one who had these crazy initial questions. Hearing from my friends was beyond wonderful. Some shared similar (and hilarious) fears, others had advice I'd never thought of, and some shared stories that messed up my eye makeup. Here is what they said--maybe you can relate... Q: Did you have any initial fears? "I was a little afraid of a boy only because I never grew up with brothers, so I wasn't exposed to having boys around." -A.R., expecting a baby boy in May "I think just not knowing what to expect was fearful. Silly things like, 'How am I going to care for a boy when I am a girl? I know nothing about boys!'" -R.T., mother to a little boy "I remember distinctly saying at my ultrasound, 'He better not be a little shithead!' I don't remember having too many fears, but I certainly wondered if I would end up with a household of boys who tune out the sound of a woman's voice and want to sit and play video games all day...or the standard thought that one day they will leave to marry another woman and not care about their mom...or that girls are the ones that take care of you when you're old...or that they will eat us out of house and home!" -H.C., mother to two little boys "As a new mom I had a new fear I think every day (I worry a lot). When I found out I was having a boy I think my only fear was picking out bedding! Ha! That being said, the fears I had prior to the gender reveal were the same as after: 'Will I be a good mother? Am I cut out to be a parent?' I thought about a lot of the stuff people think about before deciding to have a baby. Of course, Joe and I planned on our pregnancy, but when you're pregnant these questions become so real. However, when we found out we were having a boy I started to shift my thoughts to: 'How in the heck do I raise a little boy? How will I make him a gentlemen?' As he gets older it will become more difficult because he'll start to do "boy things" that I don't know anything about. I need to read up on how to potty train a boy, like, when are they supposed to stand up to go potty? Oh Lord, just the thought of it makes me anxious!" -L.F., mother to a baby boy "Circumcision definitely freaked me out." -J.F., mother to a little boy "I think that at first I was worried because I had heard boys were so much more active than girls and I did not grow up with a brother--only a sister--so I didn't know what to expect!" -A.H., mother to a little boy "As a mom who grew up with only a sister, the world of the boy seemed a little intimidating. 'How do I ensure he is a gentlemen? How do I keep him from being a complete tornado in my house?' I had visions of him hanging from light fixtures, trying to climb onto the roof, etc." -K.W., mother to a baby boy "Knowing what a moody bitch I was to my parents, I was initially very happy to be having a boy. I imagine, if we have more sons, my house being destroyed as they play football in the kitchen, and I become the crazy-haired, worn out mother of multiple boys--but that may be getting ahead of myself." -K.S., expecting a baby boy in April Q. What are you looking forward to? "Now that I know it's a boy, I am very excited. I can't wait to take him to Cardinals and Blues games as a family, root for him in sports, teach him about Jesus, show him the family farm, ride 4-wheelers with him, raise him in a small town, teach him to serve others, teach him morals and values, teach him how to shoot a gun (obviously when he's older) and how to be a hard worker, teach him responsibility and how to treat a woman...I get a little emotional thinking about it." -A.R., expecting a baby boy in May "I really look forward to seeing my husband bond with his little guy. We (mother and son) get 9 months of this wonderful, one-on-one bonding, and then with breastfeeding...I'm sure he can feel like an outsider. I am really happy to know dad's time will come--when I'll be watching them do their boy thing." -K.S., expecting a baby boy in April Q. Any advice? "My advice is cliché, but truly cherish every moment because they grow so fast. Oh, and point his penis down when changing his diaper, haha. Took me a while to figure that one out." -R.T., mother to a little boy "If I had one piece of advice to any new parent or pregnant woman, I would tell them to just relax! Listen to your baby and go off his cues. He'll let you know when he's tired, hungry, bored, dirty...Being a first time parent is tough; you can't compare it to anything. I learn something new every day about James and am still figuring him out." -L.F., mother to a baby boy "My Braden bear is always so happy and sweet, but it is going way too fast. Take more videos and pictures. Write more of the little milestones down (first babble, first smile, etc.). Take snuggled naps on the couch, because the days where they fit perfectly on your chest disappear so fast." -K.W., mother to a baby boy "Boys are loud and stinky at times, but little boys always love their moms and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Get used to nudity and a lack of privacy, though! I've had to teach Levi how to pee standing up without peeing on the blinds and I've learned how to quickly respond to anatomy questions. When he asked if I had a penis when I was three like him and I told him no, he thought I was joking. I also had to tell Levi the other day to stop dragging his bare butt across the rug like a dog. He thought it was hilarious because I said the word butt, so he kept doing it. Boys are a handful, but I love the chaos!" -N.W., mother to two little boys Q. Last question, what are some of your favorite moments? "His first word was 'Mama' and I'll never forget it. Boys love their mommies and I cuddle him every chance I get. My favorite part of the day is bedtime. As soon as the lights go off, I'll ask for a kiss and he gives me as many as I want, and we just rock and rock. Nursing creates a huge bond! Just knowing that he depends on you and you're providing everything that he needs is so rewarding and gratifying. Or hearing him wait at the door when I come home and he's yelling 'Mom, mom, mom!' melts my heart." -R.T., mother to a little boy "I wouldn't trade it for anything. Boys really do love their mommies and there is such a special bond. They both love on me so much and give me kisses and hugs all the time. More than once I haven't been feeling well--Jonah is especially sweet and the concern in his eyes breaks my heart. Jared told me one night that Jonah had come in our room to use the restroom in the middle of the night, but I didn't wake up. He came to my side of the bed and gave me a kiss before he went back to his room. There is really nothing better than hearing the words 'I love you, mommy.' It will be amazing." -H.C., mother to two little guys "Although Henry is quite active like many boys, I think that now that he is a little older he is very sweet and little boys love their mommies! I love seeing Scott with him and teaching him all of the 'boy things' such as working on the house, fishing, etc." -A.H., mother to a little boy "As Luke gets bigger the boys interact more and laugh and play together, and I can't wait to watch them grow up as brothers." -N.W., mother to two little boys "My favorite moment with James is in the mornings when he first sees me. His eyes light up and he gets this huge smile on his face. It's the most precious thing and is so gratifying to know that your baby knows who you are and loves you so much. You will be his best friend!" -L.F., mother to a baby boy "Luke and I have the best bedtime routine. And while he's obsessed with his daddy all day, at night...he only wants his mama. It is the best part of my day. I live for it. It doesn't matter how hard, crazy, or stressful the day was--those moments make everything better. The way he whispers and giggles with me about his day. The way he wraps his little arm tightly around my neck. The way he nuzzles his face as closely as he can next to mine and then smiles with his eyes closed because he loves our snuggles as much as I do...oh! My heart explodes every night." -M.S., mother to a little guy I had no inclination on what the gender of our baby was before finding out, and I truly had no 'preference'. When finding out that our baby is a boy, I was overwhelmed with happiness--not just because he checked out healthy, but because I knew that I would forever have a son in my life who would undoubtedly change my world completely. I can't wait to meet and fall in love with the second man of my life.
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We're pregnant!
Exciting stuff happening over in our neck of the woods. In the last 2 years, Chris and I have had our first date, gotten engaged, gotten married, gone to Greece, and now we're expecting! It's easy to get distracted during this time of our lives with all of the fun and exciting things going on, but I find myself saying, "Hey, you're really fortunate right now; incredibly blessed with beautiful moments in your life. This is rare--enjoy them and never take this time for granted." We hit our 17-week mark tomorrow (which means our baby turns into a new fruit, if you use the What To Expect app), and during these last 17 weeks I've realized many things, which I've decided to jot down: 1. Getting pregnant is incredibly difficult for many, many people. Be sensitive to that. If you happen to have an easy time getting pregnant, thank the Lord everyday for this blessing and remember that it may not always be that easy. 2. Morning sickness is a deceitful term. Allllllll daaaaaaaaaay. Luckily, this too shall pass. 3. Your body is going to change and you can't do a darn thing about it. I can't speak for everyone, but this was a little intimidating to deal with in the beginning. Simply remind yourself that your body has gone into auto-pilot and is doing things (pretty incredible things, if you ask me) that you cannot control. This is part of creating a life and carrying that life for 10 months. 4. Enjoy every little thought, fear, question, and concern that runs through your mind during pregnancy. This time of your life doesn't last long, and let's be honest, no one really knows what they're doing. 5. Order dessert. The baby wants it ;) 6. Whether you're feeling sick, want to scream, hate your wardrobe, or experiencing a not-so-ladylike side effect, share that with your husband. They don't get to feel what we're feeling and experience the changes that we experience over these several months. Sharing how you feel gives them insight and allows them to feel more connected to the little one inside you. 7. Invest in a bra that fits. I repeat: Invest in a bra that fits. Those things are growing with no end in sight. (Can I get an Amen from the men?) 8. Appreciate all the things your family and friends are doing for you. Whether they are gifting you baby items, offering their advice, or simply sending you a text asking how you're feeling--this is an obvious display of their love for you, and now the love for your baby. It's pretty remarkable. 9. Thank your husband. Mood swings are no joke and strike when you least expect them. Is he still looking at you lovingly? Of course. Now thank him. Again. 10. Lastly, you will need help. I am not naive. I fully realize that I have no clue what I'm doing and will have my mother and mother-in-law on speed dial. Embrace their wisdom and incredible knowledge. They've done this a time or three. If you're reading this, that means you're alive, which means they were successful. Trust them. Countdown to July is on..... I'm officially an aunt!
It is amazing to think you can love someone so much despite the fact that you met them a few short minutes ago. Nora Elizabeth decided to make her arrival Monday evening, a few days past her due date (no socialite shows up to a party on time, anyway). Notice those chunky little cheeks? That might be because her mom had those cheeks as well when she was a baby, or because she came out weighing 9 lbs. 4 oz.! My sister deserves a trophy for that alone. Can I get an Amen? Ok, enough bragging. I never knew I would feel such an immediate connection to a newborn (especially one that I didn't push out myself) but this little lady has already stolen my heart using those wrinkly little fingers. I already find myself wondering what she'll be like in 5 years, what she'll study in college, and whether or not she'll be the next Taylor Swift. Regardless of what path she chooses, I'll do my best to make sure she knows some loving aunty-guidance is just a phone call (or a text, who am I kidding) away. If her heart gets broken, I'll tell her my own stories of hurt and ultimate recovery. If she gets into a car accident, I'll tell her about the many bumpers I've bruised. If she doesn't land her dream job, I'll tell her how hard work and great character will eventually take her wherever she desires to go. When she gets married, I'll be there--quietly in the audience, breath captured in my chest--watching as this once adorable, cheeky baby walks down the aisle as an intelligent, beautiful young woman on her way to start a family of her very own. Finally, when she has a baby of her own, I'll be smiling knowing that she now gets to experience every emotion I've had the privilege of feeling since her arrival Monday evening. As you've probably heard, St. Louis is an interesting city.
I remember many years ago when it was cool to hate St. Louis. Everyone wanted to "get out and move some place cool" or "move to a real city". I visited Chicago many times during this period and fell in love. I was convinced I would move to Chicago at some point in my 20's. That never happened. After moving around from neighborhood to neighborhood (West County to Central West End to Downtown to St. Charles) I suddenly realized that I loved this city. I can personally vouch for each individual neighborhood I've lived in and say they truly have their own independent vibe. West County: suburbia central, plethora of private schools, beautifully groomed parks, Starbucks on every major road, a horse ranch every now and again, and the place to settle down and raise a family if you're doing pretty good for yourself (financially speaking). Central West End (my personal favorite): walking distance from the famous Forest Park, million dollar homes with stunning architecture, med school student overload, coffee shops that are open 24-hours, and hands-down the best selection of restaurants you'll find in the entire city. Downtown: home to some of the largest corporations in the world, numerous craft breweries, a short stroll from Busch Stadium, modern art city garden, and more lofts than you could ever dream of. St. Charles: my current home. My present love which is ever growing. St. Charles is sprawling with thousands of beautiful, historic homes with transom windows and original woodwork. Main Street has a long, cobbled brick road with unique shops and restaurants nestled along both sides. It's the home to a major school, Lindenwood University, which looks like a modern-day construction of WashU. Events like Taste of St. Louis, GroveFest, Forest Park Balloon Glow, LouFest, Purina's Canine Carnival, and others provide opportunities to get out into different parts of this city and explore new areas, meet new people, and try new things. There's a healthy mix of corporate and local--a Starbucks within a 5 minute drive of wherever you are for the more traditional taste, yet a local variety including spots like Rise Coffeehouse for those looking for a unique, personal approach to caffeine (I take coffee seriously). The best part about St. Louis is when you go home and get your mail. You step outside and see your neighbors in their yards playing with their kids and greeting you as you too get settled in from a long day. This is what I love about St. Charles in particular. You open your windows, let the evening breeze blow through and breathe life into your home as you take off your shoes and collapse onto your sofa. You smile as a constant stream of neighbors and students pass by your sidewalk on their way to class or back home from walking their dogs. St. Charles is the first time I've felt "at home" in a very long time. And let's be honest, everyone loves home. Photographers live the life.
I love following various photographers on social as they capture everything from engagement shoots and weddings, to births and family shots. I love all of them. Every single photo gives me a little insight into that person's world--whether it's a baby getting it's first bath by mom, or a couple sharing their first moment as husband and wife. Photographers get to capture these moments daily. They get to make their own schedules, spend countless hours editing at coffee shops, and travel the world on someone else's dime (or at least in my imagination they do). However, photographers are so consumed with living in someone else's moment that they rarely get to live in and experience their own. I think I put it best the other day when I posted this very image to FB by saying, "Photographers live through the beautiful images they capture, yet, they are rarely captured in the beautiful moments themselves." I'd like to ask any photographers reading this post: Do you ever wish your best friend, spouse, partner, etc. was also a photographer? I sometimes wonder if my husband wishes I was. That way for as many times as he has captured me in a scenic shot, I could do the same for him. Photographers deserve to have the moments of their lives captured in beautiful photographs just as much as their subjects do. They spend their lives devoted to giving others a treasure... A treasure in the form of a photograph... A photograph of a moment in time they wish could be paused and lived in forever. I absolutely treasure this photograph. |
AuthorI have too many thoughts to keep in my head, so, I'm keeping them here. Archives
February 2015
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